" She grabbed his erection under the covers."It better not be Saul, Miriam would take the pruning shears to him for sure. If it's that FBI guy named Purdy I'll shoot him."In a serious voice Marie said, "Jesse, I don't like those kinds of jokes." Honey, I know for a fact neither of us would ever cheat. That is why I can joke about it. Now what is this about a baby?" Jesse was suddenly still as he listened to her. In an instant he decided he wanted to be a father."Oh Jesse, we are going to have a baby. Aren't you pleased?" Marie sounded anxious and continued, "Jesse I am not going to have an abortion. I want our baby and..." Her voice trailed off."Are you sure Babe?" Jesse sounded anxious. "You aren't joking are you? Because if you are pregnant I want you to take it easy so Little Jesse is born strong and healthy." Oh you men. You are always so certain the first one will be a son. What if it's a girl" Marie knew by Jesse's words he wanted a baby as much as she did."Well, her name will. Free from the pain, the lies, the suffering, the broken promises… free from the thoughts that my dad doesn’t love me. He surely did. The beast was bigger than him. ‘Let your tears come. Let them water your soul.’ ~Eileen Mayhew The week between his death and his funeral was hard. I cried. Each time I cried, another sliver of my heart replaced itself. I was healing from the inside out. The day my mother and I went to do his hair, I was appalled at his appearance. He’d gotten more gray hair since the last time I’d seen him. He had no make up on yet, and he was under harsh white lights. His face was marked from the oxygen mask, and his mouth was drawn down to one side from the breathing tube. I gasped for air, feeling like someone punched me in the stomach. Seeing him, all I could say and think was, ‘Oh, Dad.’ He looked so bad, but he was still so handsome. I had a break down right there in the casket room at the funeral home. I hit my knees on the floor in front of the table, and.
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